This last Sunday and Monday I went down to visit my hometown, NW DC and my friend Ray who coincidentally is also the world's best tattoo artist. (maybe I'm biased; he did all my other work and he's one of my bestest friends.)

So, Sunday I cut out of work early and head off. I get down to DC after an uneventful trip at about 4:30. I planned to stay at the Days Inn in Silver Spring on 13th Street, right off Georgia Avenue. I asked Ray if this place was a shithole, and he assured me that it was "okay". That's the last time I take hotel advice from him. I check in and head to our room. Its stuck down this long wierd hallway out in a breezeway, and instantly I start thinking the worst. Then, we hear the neighboring room; seems they're some very loud non english speaking people having either an arguement or maybe they were just hard of hearing. End result was they were loud.

I open the room door, and wow, uh....what an "exquisite" room. Yes, im kidding. The first thing that I noticed was the giant stain on the rug, which looked a little too much like blood to make me very happy:

Yikes. Oh, wait, it gets better. Right now, I'm just psyched to be home, and too happy to be too much of a bitch. I did notice that someone named HEMPHEAD has written in pen all over the walls. My friend discovers an old dirty towel up in the closet by the phone books:

Yuck. We laugh it off now, we're still happy and excited to be away from foul Manahawkin.

We call Ray, and head down to the shop. It is amazing how quickly you forget where certain streets are when you've moved from a city. I couldn't find Columbia Road! I lived about 6 blocks from there at one time. Ray's shop is in the heart of Adams Morgan, in a great location with a public parking lot right next door. The neighborhood is safe, and there are a lot of great shops around there as well as countless yummy restarants (if this sounds like an endorsement, it is. If you want a tattoo of a ferret, or of anything, I couldn't recommend anyone higher than Ray.) He laughs at my hair (it wasn't such a primary color the last time I saw him) and my glasses (because well, they're just ugly) and finishes up the tattoo he's working on and comes out and shows us the new design.

That's Ray. He didn't draw the head in because I really wanted it to be one of my own ferrets faces. I give him the pictures of Mr. Ito and Fetie.

That's the stencil, and its not exactly like the exact tattoo, but its an idea. Its a Hindu god with Fetie's head. Mr. Ito's head just wasn't fitting into the design right (he looked like a rat or a fruit bat), and we needed a little bubble head model like Fetie to fit. I love this design.

He does a tongue piercing and we finally get to go eat (i'm starving now). We eat at this cute place a couple doors down called Columbia Station Grill and the food there is good. It was great to have someone who likes to eat the same wierd food as me....Ray and I had a Jalapeno and Pepperoni pie and some shrimps with bacon and pineapple.

We take Ray home and get to see Pat, his brother and his very dark but pretty tidy for boys living there house. Ray is a lightweight and the 4 beers he's had with dinner have incapacitated him and he goes to bed. The 4 beers I've drank have made me want to go out, so my friend and I head back to the hotel to change clothes and find trouble.

Now, here is the most embarrassing part. I moved from DC in 1996/1997. At that time, I was a complete party girl, and loved to go out all the time to all the cool spots. Well, now a lot of those cool spots are gone. I don't feel like driving back into the city, so we decide to venture into nearby Rockville for some fun. I seem to remember (foggily) that there were some decent clubs there. Well, that was my mistake. We couldn't find anything open (it was a Sunday) that wasn't a fern bar (like TGIfridays or the like) except something called "Polly Esters". I'd never heard of it. This place was a mess. It was an 80's themed bar with horrible music, horrible decorations and scary, scary patrons. We did score some disco ball necklaces from the bartender, who was really nice. I drank a "Spinal Tap" and a Red Bull (YUM) and Vodka. Whenever I have Red Bull, it always makes me think of my friend Meagan Q who drinks them and goes insane and scribbles on boys arms. We stay (because we had to PAY A COVER) and because really, it was like a study in abnormal psychology.

Okay, we're back at the room. "Lets watch TV!" Um....no cable. I find more stains on the rug, and a short & curly on my bed blanket. I start getting rather geeked out. I want to watch Tom Green on MTV but alas, we have no MTV. I check the reservation sheet, and damn, we're supposed to have cable. Then, we start getting bitchy. My mattress is layed open like someone filleted it open a la drug bust:

This photo is another in the "Kim will lick wierd things" series

My friend's bed doesn't have a bottom sheet. Her blankets are pretty foul too. I'm now very displeased, especially after we try to use the phone and realize all the buttons are missing. Nice. I lose it. I call down to the office and tell them about the lack of cable, the bloodstained carpet, the short & curly in my bed, the slashed open mattress, the graffitti on the walls, the funky old towel up by the phone books and the shitty phone, and they offer us a new room. SCORE!

We pack up our stuff, and walk to the office (in jammies). They send us to a new room after talking angrily about us in some other language. The new room is cleaner than the first, but still, it sucked. There was like a 1.5" gap between the door jam and the door which made for a great arctic breeze, and something in the heat made my friend's face turn bright red and her eyes water. We have to turn the heat off, and at like 5 AM I wake up and can see my breath thanks to the giant gap in the door. There were MORE stains on the rug

but the beds were cleaner and the room generally a little bit better. Not making me happy to pay $60 to stay there but okay enough to sleep for a few hours.

Okay, Monday morning! So we get up, clear up the hotel bill (they charged $.75 for local and 800 number phone calls which made me even more pissed about staying there), and head over to Ray's to pick him up and go to the shop. We eat at my FAVORITE pizza place in Silver Spring, Armand's and my friend got to cringe in nausea as Ray & I ate a chicken wing pizza (it was soooo good).

Okay...finally, the reason I'm typing. We get to the shop and start the tattoo process.

Here are a bunch of pics of me getting tortured, uh...tattooed. The design of this one made it necessary for Ray to do the outline regular - like, and then go over spots of it again with a different, thicker needle. Which sucked pain wise. Then, the top of the tattoo is up right where the bend in my forearm is, and lemme tell you, that is a very, very tender place to get done. VERY tender...like eye wateringly tender. You can see my expression go from okay and dealing with the tattoo to biting my shirt collar and very whiney.

Just starting out

See, this isn't so bad.....its bad but not so bad

This is starting to suck. Stop taking my f@$*ing picture

Ray pondering what he can do next to make me twitch and hurt

An especially sore spot

You can't tell from this picture but about this time my legs started to shake

Close up

I really love this tattoo. It is EXACTLY how I pictured it. :) Worth every bit of pain

Another cool shot, except for the smeary ink and blood

Fetie, his crown and some blood

At this point I am wondering why Ray hates me so much. The inside elbow was screamingly painful.

Ray is such a cool guy and an amazing artist. THANK YOU RAY!

The thought of being "almost done" makes me smile a little (or is that a growl?)

Sooo, in a couple weeks or whenever its healed, I will be heading back to finish the shading and coloring. It SHOULD be finished by the March 24th AFA show. Hopefully.

Okay, here comes the commercial. If you are interested in getting a custom ferret tattoo, or custom anything tattoo, or a cover up or just a regular tattoo, please visit:

That is my left arm.

That is my left leg. Say my thighs are fat and I'll shoot you!

You can bring photos of your ferret(s) for custom work or your other pets, husband, wife, whoever for portraits, but he may not be able to do them that same day, since he'd have to draw the design up first. But, if you're considering a tattoo and you're in the DC area, I cannot recommend any other shop any higher than his.

Thanks for reading!

UPDATE!

As you can see its still not finished. One more sitting and it should be done. I hope to be able to get back to DC to have it finished real soon.

:) Update! More work done!

Almost done. Just need the flowers and water finished.

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